


walking too far ahead

by unearth



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Marriage Proposal, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unearth/pseuds/unearth
Summary: She was still here. She was still her.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 6
Kudos: 138





	walking too far ahead

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 3 seconds after i got my heart shot out so please excuse the MESS........  
> title is from time after time because.... starts crying

The thought plants itself in Dani’s mind around mid-July. It’s a stubborn little thing, roots strong, anchored deep.

And once it’s there, it’s like—it’s _everywhere_.

She sees someone get proposed to on her way home. It’s in a secluded little area, beside some trees in the middle of the park they venture out to on the weekends, when they want to be fancy and have a picnic in the sundry grass. A man on one knee. A woman covering her mouth in shock, tears springing to her eyes.

It makes her think about _before_. Of course it does. How couldn’t it? What could have been. What _almost_ was. Glasses and too many people around her, God, the _dancing_. That night.

It makes her think about before, yes, but it also makes her think about _now_. About later, about the _future_. Not too far in the future, she’s not ready to think too much ahead, probably won’t _ever_ be ready, really, but there’s this ache in her chest. It’s not dread, is nothing like how she felt before.

It’s _light_ and it’s excitement and it’s _want_. 

Because this part—it’s not so scary. It _was_ , back then. _Before_ , when she felt trapped and the heavy weight of the world on her shoulders, those impossible expectations that drowned her.

But not now, when her life is filled with the scent of flowers and the feeling of soft hands on her skin every morning when she takes her first conscious breath. Not now, when she feels _free_ and right and like she hadn’t been crazy after all, hadn’t been selfish like she made herself believe.

And then she sees this wedding scene on TV, one night when they’re ready for bed. Jamie’s beside her, reading some book she picked up the night before, and Dani’s just— _staring_ , at the screen.

She’s so happy that Jamie’s distracted, because she’s almost certain her mouth is hanging open with the realization that hits her, just then.

She wants that. With Jamie.

God, she _needs_ that. Because if she doesn’t have that, and has to _go,_ after what she saw in the reflection—

She doesn’t know what she’ll do.

And it takes a while, coming up with a plan.

Weeks pass. And Jamie says she’s acting a little funny, and Dani _knows_ she is, but she just smiles and says it’s nothing, even though it’s _everything._

She gets a ring.

As soon as she sees it in the store, her stomach drops. Because she can see it so clearly, the way it’s going to look on Jamie’s finger, how it’ll be _enough_ , at least for her.

So, she blinks away the tears and calls someone to the front, buys it without a single doubt in her mind. Walks out of the store with a feeling she’s never felt before.

Certainty and love and excitement, a dizzy mixture that bubbles out of her with a laugh. She gets a few looks from strangers on the street but she just keeps on, because, she’s going to _propose_.

And she has the plant ready, in her car.

She feels a little silly hiding the ring in the dirt, but she knows Jamie _has_ to find it, because that’s the first thing she does when Dani brings a plant home for her to save. Looks at the roots.

The place smells like food when she walks in half an hour later. It would have been fifteen if she didn’t pace around the front door for a little bit, wondering if she remembered what all she wanted to say.

Jamie’s stirring some kind of sauce that she always manages to muck up and Dani feels like maybe she could cry already, imagining the way this is going to go.

She throws her purse down onto the couch and holds the pot in her hands, walks slowly towards the kitchen. As soon as Jamie starts complaining, like she always does, Dani can feel a smile start to stretch across her lips.

“How many years in this kitchen? My cooking is still shite.”

She doesn’t respond. Just feels like the plant in her hands weighs a ton, much more than earlier.

Jamie turns around with an exasperated little sigh, then, like Dani expected, her eyes zero in on the pot. “What happened there, then?”

“Found it on the street,” Dani says. “Wanted to save it.”

And then there’s that brilliant smile that illuminates the entirety of Jamie’s face, reaches her eyes and bunches up her nose and cheeks. “Give it here then.”

“Want me to keep stirring?” Dani asks, because now that _this_ is happening, she feels like she needs to occupy her hands. Do something.

“Yeah. See if you can salvage it.”

And there’s no salvaging this. Dani can never salvage this sauce, no matter how hard she tries. But she stands at the stove and stirs, stirs, stirs, listens to Jamie talk to herself while she pulls at the plant, at the dirt.

“There’s your problem,” Jamie says, like Dani knew she would. “Your roots have been…”

Dani turns around, the words she’s been perfecting for weeks on the tip of her tongue.

The fact that Jamie’s her best friend. The reason why she loves her life, even if things aren’t completely certain. Won’t ever be. And that’s scary, so fucking scary, but if Jamie’s next to her it doesn’t seem so bad. Not really.

And it won’t be legal. Wouldn’t be, like her and Eddie would have been. But she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care one single bit, because there’s this _ring_ , and they have this place together, a store, a fucking _life_. They have the gross sauce that’s burning on the stove, the artwork of birds above their bed, the postcards they hang up on the fridge.

They’ll know. Nothing else matters.

She will know. Jamie will know. And that’s more than enough.

“Dani, why is there a—”

“Here’s the thing…”

She talks. Talks some more. Spills her guts out in the kitchen.

And Jamie’s just looking at her, with those shining eyes, that perfect smile that Dani gets to see every night before she goes to sleep. The first thing she sees when she wakes.

Dani finishes. Lets out a breath, shaky and shallow.

Jamie’s smiling when she says, “I reckon that’s enough for me, yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> twitter & tumblr is markofalover


End file.
